you love me - kimya dawson
on today’s news, it’s been a rough few days. i started my degree, it’s not at all what i expected, my job is boring. overall, just a weird few days.
but on days like these, i try to stay positive and lean to the ones i love and love me. i find that it’s very easy to completely forget of the good things in your life when there’s something bothering you. but my love is my superpower in this world. whenever things feel a bit rough i always circle back to my friends. some of my greatest friends live far away, some don’t. no matter where they are, i can always count on them, in different ways each.
i’ve lived in many places in the past two years. i have started to build a life in most of those places. i always have the need to run away. i am always the one with a suitccase in hand, the one that leaves when things get harder. but through all my time in various places i have met some of the greatest people i know. they are all scattered around the world and it’s such a pain that some of them live so far away. but what a privilege it is to love someone, something, some place so much that you feel a pain when you’re missing them. some of the most genuine people i know and the loveliest souls i’ve met, i’ll never see again. and it gets a bit sad when i think of it this way so i try to remind myself that even if someone is so far away from me, even if i knew them for a short period of time in person, there’s still love somewhere out there. people i met while traveling will contact me at random times when they are close to my city or my country to see if we can meet up. friends will contact me when they’re back in the continent to let me know that i have to go find them.
maybe it’s not love like we are taught. not the extremely strong limited feeling you have towards your parents and your partners, but i think that those gestures are full of love. because what even is love? is it attention? is it care? is it knowing someone? i love latvia, i love my best friend who i haven’t seen in over a year, i love my boyfriend even though i haven’t known him for too long and he lives in a different country, i love my friend and that’s why i’ll drive for 3 hours to see her, i love my mom, i love my dog, i love onigiri, i love gold tequila, i love my old friends from brighton, i love green door store, i love the sunrise, the stars, constellations, i love contemporary art and kusama’s work, i love lesbian music, greek punk rock, i love my semi-basement studio, i love tattoos, piercings, history, poetry, i love mirrors and cool furniture, small businesses, jellyfish, i love my best friend who i talk to to very rarely, i love my friends from my eurosummer backpacking, i love latvian folk music, i love my friend who i stopped talking to for 6 months just for us to become even better friends, i love my friend i see every week and i love our favorite cocktail bar that we go to every saturday, i love open-air cinemas, i love shitty party hostels, volunteers, warm pop corn, ice cream, tzatziki, my sister, i love collecting maps, i love the tree over my window, the first cigarette of the day, greek coffee, i love my high school english teacher, i love leaving google reviews, making lists, i love my friend that i see whenever i feel like i need to get out of the house, i love my dad, i love my childhood friend from across the street, i love my car, i love when the weather is cold enough for a jacket but the sun is out, i love the sea, the mountains, lilypads, tulips, the chocolate cake from that place close to my place, i love spring, october, animation films, coming-of-age movies, tajin, iced tea, i love my friends, that guy i met when we were working together, the friend who’s jorts and glasses i stole, the one that helped me bleach my eyebrows for the first time, the one that convinced me to book a flight for 12 hours later just to spend new years together. i love everything in this world and everyone i meet. i love everyone i haven’t met yet and everyone i’ll never meet.
all this love is what keeps me going on days like this. this love makes me stay, this love makes me run away to follow it around the globe.
love really is all we have. we are nothing without it.
indifference is killing us.
vale